“I saw this poster on a lamppost two years ago. Thought you might be interested Dan. It looked authentic, but photoshop can do a lot these days, right? But the notice said that all parents should be on the lookout for a suspicious looking ice cream van. Two men were apparently lacing ice cream with some kind of poison and had put two children in the hospital. It never made the news, leading me to believe it was the sort of bullshit you might b interested in.”
Ant, Bethnal Green
“one of my friends at school told me about this ice cream van that was poisoning kids at another school. U know anything about this?”
Sarah, London
In the numerous e-mails I receive there are often stories that go overlooked. And the reason they are overlooked is because they are so similar to other tales – most of which often originate in the United States. This is probably the reason that this story hasn’t really entered the public consciousness. Because it is, at the core, a rehash of the phantom clown scare in Boston.
Oh, wait, “what are the phantom clowns?”
Well, to sum it up simply. In Boston, there was a brief panic about men lingering outside schools in vans. Apparently they were trying to lure in children by dressing up like clowns. But people noticed they were naked from the waist down. Some believe it was based on a true story, but personally I feel it is just indicative of the negative image clowns have in our psyche.
But this story, of the so-called “Candy Tramps” is very similar. But instead of harlequins, it puts the focus on another segment of society that doesn’t quite fit in.
Let me go over the general story...
Two tramps in London are angry at society. They’ve been mistreated a lot of their lives and have never had the kind of luxuries us lot take for granted. So, in their rage, they hatch a plan.
They’ve noticed an ice cream man who lives near one of their sleeping spots. He keeps the truck in his driveway and on sunny days will go out and do his job.
The tramps lie in wait and when the poor man comes out they rush him, stab him to death and take his truck.
Then they lace all the ice cream with an unspecified poison (Because, as we know, all hobos are magically gifted with knowledge of deadly toxins) and set about getting back at society. By poisoning their children.
They travel around the city and kill about four kids, putting many others in the hospital. But when they try it on another little boy they hit a snag.
You see, in all the excitement of killing people, they had forgotten to clean themselves up. And it turns out that this child remembers seeing these two cretins begging by his house.
He goes to the police and they capture the two idiots.
Now, it’s not surprising that this story has come about. After all, the phantom clown incidents apparently stretched all the way to Glasgow. So maybe someone simply switched the setting, used the clown story as a basis and started telling people this whole recycled fable.
However, some variants of the story end very differently. With the child only having a suspicion that he recognises the tramps. They see that he could cause problems and to try and stop him talking give him loads of free ice cream. Forgetting the police warnings, the kid gobbles up all the free food and dies. Charming.
The message in this whole thing is a common one in these sorts of stories. It’s all about teaching children not to talk to strangers or accept gifts from strange men.
And I also think there’s a rather unpleasant undertone about the lower classes and a certain demonization of the homeless, which is probably why I’m not too keen on this one.
The truth is that people who have to sleep rough get a really hard time. People abuse them and routinely look down on the poor bastards. And I think that to spread this kind of crap about an already ostracised social class is very irresponsible.
Give them a pound or something. Don’t start telling people they’re all murderers and loons.
Ant, Bethnal Green
“one of my friends at school told me about this ice cream van that was poisoning kids at another school. U know anything about this?”
Sarah, London
In the numerous e-mails I receive there are often stories that go overlooked. And the reason they are overlooked is because they are so similar to other tales – most of which often originate in the United States. This is probably the reason that this story hasn’t really entered the public consciousness. Because it is, at the core, a rehash of the phantom clown scare in Boston.
Oh, wait, “what are the phantom clowns?”
Well, to sum it up simply. In Boston, there was a brief panic about men lingering outside schools in vans. Apparently they were trying to lure in children by dressing up like clowns. But people noticed they were naked from the waist down. Some believe it was based on a true story, but personally I feel it is just indicative of the negative image clowns have in our psyche.
But this story, of the so-called “Candy Tramps” is very similar. But instead of harlequins, it puts the focus on another segment of society that doesn’t quite fit in.
Let me go over the general story...
Two tramps in London are angry at society. They’ve been mistreated a lot of their lives and have never had the kind of luxuries us lot take for granted. So, in their rage, they hatch a plan.
They’ve noticed an ice cream man who lives near one of their sleeping spots. He keeps the truck in his driveway and on sunny days will go out and do his job.
The tramps lie in wait and when the poor man comes out they rush him, stab him to death and take his truck.
Then they lace all the ice cream with an unspecified poison (Because, as we know, all hobos are magically gifted with knowledge of deadly toxins) and set about getting back at society. By poisoning their children.
They travel around the city and kill about four kids, putting many others in the hospital. But when they try it on another little boy they hit a snag.
You see, in all the excitement of killing people, they had forgotten to clean themselves up. And it turns out that this child remembers seeing these two cretins begging by his house.
He goes to the police and they capture the two idiots.
Now, it’s not surprising that this story has come about. After all, the phantom clown incidents apparently stretched all the way to Glasgow. So maybe someone simply switched the setting, used the clown story as a basis and started telling people this whole recycled fable.
However, some variants of the story end very differently. With the child only having a suspicion that he recognises the tramps. They see that he could cause problems and to try and stop him talking give him loads of free ice cream. Forgetting the police warnings, the kid gobbles up all the free food and dies. Charming.
The message in this whole thing is a common one in these sorts of stories. It’s all about teaching children not to talk to strangers or accept gifts from strange men.
And I also think there’s a rather unpleasant undertone about the lower classes and a certain demonization of the homeless, which is probably why I’m not too keen on this one.
The truth is that people who have to sleep rough get a really hard time. People abuse them and routinely look down on the poor bastards. And I think that to spread this kind of crap about an already ostracised social class is very irresponsible.
Give them a pound or something. Don’t start telling people they’re all murderers and loons.
